Forgotten Hopes
by lileve1
Summary: Jasper leaves his soul mate behind in hopes she will turn her life around for him. Will she regret the bad decisions she's made or will she give up on life all together. All Human. Mostly JPOV.
1. Winter

_A/N: Okay I am absolutely horrible for starting a new story while my others are at a stand still. But honestly, I am at a road block with More Than Words and While We Wait, I know where I want those story's to go I just can't seem to put it on paper and maybe that's because I am going the wrong way with them. SOMEONE, ANYONE, if you are willing to help, take over, rewrite, I am up for it. _

_When I tried to sit down to write more chapters for my other story's this is what sort of came out. Know I am not sure about it quite yet a few things might be changed so consider this a sneak peek. I just want to know what everyone thinks. _

**Jasper leaves his soul mate behind in hopes she will turn her life around for him. Will she regret the bad decisions she's made or will she give up on life all together.**

** Mostly JPOV. ALL HUMAN **

**Winter by Joshua Radin**

**Disclaimer: Do not own Twilight

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**JPOV**

Here I was.

Speeding down the 101.

I didn't want to be, considering I had special cargo in the back seat, but I knew with every inch of my body that if I didn't get away fast, I would be turning this car around and heading back to her.

I have been thinking about all the hurtful words that were spoken between the two of us tonight. _"Jasper you can't do this." _I didn't want to remember, but I couldn't get them out of my head. I knew she was just severely angry with me and didn't mean half of the things that she said, but it still hurt like a fucking knife to the gut.

I wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do, but I just couldn't take it anymore. If it was just me I had to worry about, I would have given up along time ago. I tried to make it work for as long as possible but after what happened tonight it finally triggered in my mind that things weren't getting better, and they weren't going to either.

It's not that I didn't love her, because I did, with every fucking beat of my heart I did. I just couldn't sit back and watch her ruin her life anymore, our lives.

I tried with everything in me to help her but it wasn't enough.

I wasn't enough.

We weren't enough.

How can you help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

The only reason for me leaving. The only good thing in my life anymore, and the only reason I tried so many times to help her was because of the person in the back seat. _  
_

My baby. I wanted more for her, I wanted her to feel safe and protected not scared and alone.

She is the best thing that ever happened to me. The first time I ever laid eyes on her I knew I had to change my life around. I knew I had to stop with the shit and get it together so I could take care of her.

My life was no where close to the way I imagined or wanted in the beginning, but life never goes the way you intend it to. Hell, I would probably be in college right now. Maybe go to a few party's and get piss ass drunk just to fuck some girl and not have to remember her name the next morning.

"_Please……don't do this" _I can still see the tears running down her face. She knew she'd crossed the line tonight when she walked in the front door and saw me standing there with all our bags packed. _"What the fuck is this?"_ She knew what the fuck it was. I had warned so many times before but hadn't ever followed through with my threats, until tonight. I don't think she ever thought I would really dare to do it. She probably is still standing on the front porch waiting for me to come back and forgive her.

But not this time. I wouldn't forgive her this time.

I don't think anyone can imagine the shit that I have put up with. I probably should have left along time ago but that little inkling of hope that she would see what was more important stopped me.

I was hoping that me leaving wasn't going to make things worse. Most of all I was trusting that it would make things better.

She knew what my expectations were if she wanted us to come back. She knew that things had to change or I would make this a permanent thing.

But god help me, I didn't want it to get to that. I still loved her. That's why it hurt so bad. When ever I tried to talk to her about why she was doing the things she was, she'd just shrug it off as stress.

I knew it was more though.

I remember the night of graduation, we got into a huge ass fight when I found her on the doorstep high as hell. I looked for her all night. After the ceremony we were going to have a little celebration of our own. I wanted to spend time with my girl and only my girl. I wanted to have just one night with no responsibility's, no friends, and definitely none of her 'stress relief methods'. Just the two of us, sober and clean.

But when she finally showed up that night, I had had it. I told my self it was the last time. I didn't want my baby having to live with that.

And now finally three years later, I can defiantly say I've had enough.

"_I fucking hate you Jasper Whitlock." _The last thing I heard her yell as I shut the car door. She had said it so many times to me before, but not the same way as this time. This time there was so much hatred behind the actual words.

I guess I couldn't actually blame her for hating me.

My family wasn't happy with my decision either. Most of all being Esme. I called her tonight to tell her that she had taken off again with no way of me to find her. I told her I was done, and that I just couldn't live with it anymore.

When I told Esme I was leaving she through a fit, almost as worse as Alice. She said I was making a mistake and that there where other options to consider.

There wasn't though.

I had considered them all.

Hell, I had tried them all.

I didn't want to leave my family behind. Especially sense they have been so sympathetic towards me. They took me in when my grandfather died, I was the near age of fifteen. He was my legal guardian and the only family I had at the time. When Alice found out she told her parents about my situation and they agreed to get custody of me until I was eighteen.

That's when this whole mess started. Living down the hall from Alice was a curse and a blessing all at the same time. It was just to easy to slip into her room and into her bed at night. We had some of our most intimate times in that bed. Most nights we would just talk about life and what we wanted out of the future. Other nights we would spend getting high as hell and trying to be quite so her family didn't here us, but there would also be nights we would be worshiping each others bodies from head to toe.

The night we decided to go all the way was one of the best of my life. It was imperfect and perfect all at the same time. We had given each other something that could never be taken back. Something so full of unconditional love I thought my heart was going to bust out of my chest.

I think there had been only one flaw with the whole night. We were making the biggest mistake of our lives without even thinking twice about it.

That night we did something we couldn't take back if we wanted to. That was the night we changed our life for better and worse.

"Daddy." That was the night we made her.

"Hey baby, your awake." I looked in the back seat to see her slowly sitting up, rubbing all the sleepiness out of her eyes. Just looking into those big beautiful green eyes I knew this was the right thing to do, she didn't deserve this, she didn't deserve to be put through all the crap Alice was putting us through.

"Daddy, I'm hungry."

"Will be in Seattle in a few minutes. Why don't you come sit in the front seat for awhile."

"Mommy says I'm not aloud."

"I know but I think this once it will be okay." I gave her a reassuring smile. She nodded and proceeded to crawl over the seat.

I loved talking to my daughter. It wasn't like talking to a normal six year old, she was smart and very prospective. Maybe it was because of all the stuff she has gone through in a very short amount of time. Talking to her made me never want to forget the mistake Alice and I made all those years ago.

The mistake I liked to call more of a surprise.

A mistake is something you regret, a surprise is something unexpected, and most the time surprises are a good thing. In this case a great thing.

Whenever Lucy would ask me if she was a mistake, I would tell her 'Absolutely not, you are the best surprise I've ever been given'. That seemed to make her happy.

Alice didn't want to keep Lucy in the beginning of her pregnancy, and I totally understood why, we were fifteen. I just couldn't for the life of me make myself take a precious baby's life away. Not even if I was only fifteen.

"_I can't do it Alice" I looked down at her sitting on the bed. "Please Al, I will help you with whatever you need but not this."_

"_It doesn't matter what you want Jasper, it's not your body that has to go though this." I stared into her tear filled eyes._

"_But it is my baby." She looked up at me. I knew when I mentioned baby she was almost regretting her decision, almost. She never like to think of it as killing a baby, just as getting something out of her body that couldn't be there. _

"_Alice, Please, I love you, we can get through this together..................there is a part of me Ali...........inside of you that you are killing." I knelled down in front of her so I could hold her face in my hands "Please!"_

"Daddy, your crying again." I tried to shake the memory out of my head.

"I'm sorry baby, I just miss mommy is all." I wiped the tears from my eyes before grabbing her small petite hand in mine. Lucy didn't quite understand why we were leaving but I knew she had a pretty good idea. She knew her mother was sick and had to get some help that we couldn't give her.

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A/N: Reviews welcome.


	2. Angel

**Angel by Jack Johnson**

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I don't think I got a wink of sleep the whole night. I was to worried about Alice. I hoped she wasn't thinking about doing anything stupid. Well, I knew she would do something stupid, I just hoped it wasn't so rash that I would be regretting my decision to leave her alone.

Esme and Carlise were staying in Chicago for the week at family's but they promised they were going to get the first flight home to make sure Alice was okay, and didn't try to drive anywhere under the influence. I knew I had to call and check in with mom this morning to let her know me and Lucy had arrived safely in Seattle. I sure as hell wasn't looking forward to the call, I wasn't even sure if Alice would want to talk to me.

I tried to roll over and reach for the hotel phone on the nightstand but was caught by little hands around my waist. I was so lost in my thoughts this morning I almost forgot that she had slept with me last night. I got a room with two beds but I should have known that she would be to scared to sleep on her own.

I sighed and squeezed her tighter. "I just need to call Nana and let her know we arrived safely."

Her eyes snapped open. "Can we call mommy? I shook my head. I wasn't about to deny her. I knew Alice would want to talk to Lucy as much as she wanted to talk to her if not more.

I hated that I had to call from the hotel phone but in my haste to leave I forgot my cell phone. I picked up the phone and made sure to wipe it off with my t shirt before dialing and pressing it to my ear.

"Hello?" I silently thanked god it was Esme that was the one to pick up the phone, I wasn't ready for the yelling that was going to come from Alice.

"Hey. That was fast. How was your flight."

"the flight was good, we just got in a few hours ago. Jasper, honey, why are you not calling from your cell."

"I left it at the house last night."

There was a long pause before I had to break the silence. "How is she?"

"Not good. She had a panic attack this morning and Carlisle had to give her something to help her relax." A few tears spilled from my eyes and I had to hurry and wipe them away before my daughter spotted them.

"I'm sorry." I really didn't know what else to say. It was all my fault that this was happening to her.

"Jasper……I knew I was upset with you last night……but I know your doing the right thing."

"Are you sure, cause I got to tell you mom, I just keep feeling like I made a mistake."

I looked over at Lucy to see her watching me intently. "Luc, why don't you go down the hall and get some ice." She nodded her head and grabbed the ice bucket.

"Did you find out more about whether or not we could do it tomorrow?" I hoped she had some sort of good news for me.

"Yeah, Carlisle knows a few of the doctors over there and they are going to help us out." I felt like a weight had been lifted off me. "Jasper, I hope you understand what is going to happen tomorrow."

"It's not going to pretty." I said. I was a little confused but I was sure it wasn't going to be anything I couldn't handle.

"It's going to be really bad and I want you to be prepared."

I shook my head up and down but than realized she couldn't see me. "I know mom." When I heard the key card in the door I knew we had to stop talking about it. "Is Alice feeling up enough to talk to Lucy."

"Yeah she is…………Jasper, Lucy can't come home with you tomorrow."

I knew that already and I felt awful about having to tell that little girl she wasn't going to be able to go with me to see her mother. "I know, I think Bella will take her for the day." I hadn't asked her yet but I knew she lived in Seattle for college.

"When was the last time you talked to Bella?" She sounded a little excited and confused all at the same time.

"It's been awhile, it was kind of hard after the falling out but I know if it came down to it she would do anything for Alice."

"I'm sure she would. I really miss her, her friendship meant a lot to Alice." She didn't have to tell me twice. Whenever I would mention Bella's name to Alice it always led to a fit of anger and tears. "Well let me talk to Lucy and than I will give the phone to Alice."

Lucy snatched the phone out of my hand before I even had the chance to say goodbye to Esme. "Nana, I miss you already. We stayed in a hotel last night and I had cheese pizza for dinner and dad let me ride in the front seat." My eyes went wide and I started shaking my head at my daughter. I wasn't expecting her to share that bit of information. I could already here the lecture I was going to get from my mother the next time I saw her.

"I'm okay. I miss mommy. She didn't come home last night again." I figured Esme asked her how she was doing. "I love you to."

"MOMMY." She bounced up and down on the bed out of excitement to talk to her mother. They had a great relationship when Alice was sober but the second she had a couple drinks in her, which was most of the time, that changed. They would argue and fight worse than sisters. I was amazed at some of the stuff that would come out of my daughters mouth.

"Mommy, are you better yet so I can come home." I really wished I could here the answer to that question. "Okay." I saw the tears in my daughters eyes and I knew she was understanding that she wasn't going to get to see her mother for awhile. "I miss you………..I will." She looked up at me and giggled. I was happy to see those tears replaced with laughter. "I love you mommy. Do you want to talk to daddy?" A part of me was hoping the answer to that question was yes but the other part was not ready to talk to Alice.

"Okay, bye mommy." She hung up the phone and than looked up at me. "Mom didn't want to talk to you because she is upset you let me sit in the front seat." I had to laugh at that.

"How about an early lunch, I have a friend that lives near by that makes a mean sandwich." She shook her head and ran to the bathroom to get changed. She was so much like Alice in the aspect that they both had so much energy they didn't know what to do with it all.

While Lucy got ready I called Bella to let her know I was in town and to see if it was alright if we came over for a visit. I was happy to hear that she didn't have plans for the day. She seemed really excited to see me and happy I had Lucy with me.

I hadn't seen Bella sense last year. I took a trip up here for a college workshop and decided I would give her a call while I was here. I tried to convince her to come visit the family in Forks but she wouldn't. She said she wasn't ready to fix things between her and Alice. She hated what Alice was doing to herself and her family and she told me she wouldn't be a part of it.

The worst part about her and Alice not being friends was that it made things with Alice even worse. They haven't spoken in a little over three years. Bella was a little upset with me for not putting up more of a fight with Alice, but she just as me knew all to well that there was nothing any of us could say that would help. She also understood how much I loved Alice and how much it would kill me to leave her alone.

She was right, this was killing me inside, but talking to Esme this morning made me feel a little bit better about my decision.

I couldn't hold my excitement when I pulled up to the same apartment building Bella had been living in for the past three years. I jumped out of the car and opened the back door for Lucy to get out.

I was a little nervous when I got to Bella's door, I hadn't seen her for so long and I hadn't told her what I was doing in town or what I was planning on doing for that matter. I knew she was going to agree with my decision. I think I was mostly scared she would be upset with me for not calling in so long. I really did feel bad for not staying in touch, she was my best friend and she was like a sister to me.

Lucy, obvious to my hesitation, decided to knock on the door. Before I could even think about what was happening, I had two hands rapped around my neck. "I've missed you." I felt like I had a monkey hanging from my neck because she also had me in a leg lock.

"I missed you to Bells." She let go and looked into my eyes. I shook my head answering the silent question she was asking me. I really didn't want to give her bad news, I also was hoping I could talk to her in private without Lucy in hearing distance.

I think she got my gist because she leaned down so that she was eye level with Lucy . "You must be Lucy. The last time I saw you, your dad was chasing your little naked but all over the house."

Lucy giggled and stuck her hand out to Bella. "It's nice to meet you Bella." Bella shook her hand.

"It's nice to see you again Lucy."

Bella made my all time favorite sandwich for lunch. Turkey Bacon. While we ate we laughed about all the stupid stuff we use to do when we were kids. We told Lucy about all the hiking adventure's we used to take together and how there was not a single one where one of us didn't end up in the hospital with a broken leg, arm or cut so deep it needed stitches. I loved sharing with my daughter the good story's about Alice. I wanted her to know that I love her mother very much and would do anything for her.

After we were done eating Bella turned on a movie for Lucy. It wasn't long after that she was out cold. I grabbed a blanket from off the back of the couch and made sure she was warm before I got up to go sit on the deck with Bella. "I'm really glad your here Jazz."

I smiled at her and sat down on the bench next to her. She laid her head on my shoulder and held my hand in hers. "She'll forgive you you know."

I turned my head to look at her. Bella was always good at reading me. "I don't know Bella, I took her daughter away from her."

"She'll understand when she gets better." I shrugged.

"Do you miss her?"

"….."

"Yeah Jasper I do. Besides you, she's my best friend." I reached up to wipe her tears. "I need my best friend Jazz."

I pulled her into my arms. "I know."

I held her the whole time she cried. I knew she missed Alice. They used to be so inseparable, I always would tell Alice I thought they were lovers in a past life because of the way they acted together. She just joked and said 'Bella gets me going before I come to you.'

"I promise I will do everything I can to get her back." She nodded her head into my chest before pulling away but never letting go of my hand.

We talked more about me having to go back to Forks tomorrow. She had no problem with taking Lucy for the day. I felt bad she was going to have to miss her classes but she promised she wasn't missing anything important.

We discussed Lucy and I living with her for the time being until I knew what was going on with Alice. I gladly excepted her offer, I really hadn't thought that far ahead, so I was very grateful to her. She had a three bedroom apartment because she once thought she was going to get roommates, but than she liked living on her own and decided the rent wasn't to unfordable without them.

The back of my mind was telling me that she was almost hoping we would move out here with her one day. I wondered if she knew that some day we would be needing a place to stay. Maybe if Alice gets better we can live with her for awhile. Start over. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to stay. That was the plan so far and I just hoped when Alice was better she would agree.

"So any special guy in your life?" I had to ask. The conversation definitely needed a change of subject.

"If I were only that lucky. The only special guy in my life is the kid that makes my coffee every morning."

"You know, Emmett's cousin Edward is moving to Seattle in a few weeks for college. Maybe I should tell him I have a friend that can show him around the city."

"What is with you and Alice in match making?"

I laughed. "You would like Edward, you two have a lot in common."

"I probably would have told you no a few days ago, but I actually wouldn't mind going out with a nice guy for once." I made a note in my head to give Edward Bella's number when I talk to him next. I always thought they would be good for each other but sense he lived all the way in Chicago I never had the chance to introduce them. And the fact that Bella and Alice were fighting didn't make things any better either.

The rest of the day went by in a flash. Bella invited us to stay for dinner. She never mentioned anything about Lucy staying with her tomorrow. I was grateful for that because I hadn't told Luc yet and I knew she wasn't going to be happy with me. I didn't want her throwing a fit in front of Bella.

After dinner we said are goodbye's and I let Bella know I would call her in the morning before I brought Lucy over. She thanked me again for spending the day with her even though it should have been me that was thanking her.

"Did you have fun today angel?" I asked tucking Lucy into bed.

"Yep, Miss Bella's very nice. And she is a good cook."

"Yes she is." I kissed her on the forehead. I was trying to work my way up to the inevitable. "How would you like to spend the day with her tomorrow?"

"By myself?" I shook my head and sucked in a breath. "Are you leaving me." I noticed her bottom lip start to shake and I instantly had to reassure her.

"No, no, baby I will never leave you. I just have to go back to Forks to take care of some stuff." There was in no way I could lie to my daughter but I wasn't about to tell her the complete truth.

"Are you going to take care of mommy?" I nodded my head again. "I want to go with you."

"You can't go this time sweetheart, but I promise I will be back before you even realize I'm gone. You and Bella will have so much fun tomorrow you will be glad you didn't go with me."

I could now see the full blown tears in her eyes. "But I want to see mommy, you can't leave me, you said you wouldn't leave me." I knew she was going to have a hard time with this but I couldn't take her with me.

"I know you don't understand what's going on right now but I promise I will never ever leave you. You're my little angel." She gave me a weak smile. "Listen, you know when your mommy had the flew?" She shook her head. "Well you know how I had to take her to the doctor and you had to stay with uncle Jacob, this is the same as that, but you are just going to stay with Bella."

"Your taking mom to the doctor to get better." I shook my head. "Will Miss Bella make peanut butter cookies like me and uncle Jacob did?"

"I know for a fact that Miss Bella will make peanut butter cookies with you."

"Okay, than you can take mommy to the doctor."

"Thank you Angel." I kissed her on the forehead for the second time. "I love you Lucy."

"Daddy."

"Yeah baby?"

"Will you sing me my lullaby?" I didn't even have to think twice about my answer before I started to sing to Lucy.

I've got an angel  
She doesn't wear any wings  
She wears a heart that could melt my own  
She wears a smile that could make me want to sing  
She gives me presents  
With her presence alone  
She gives me everything I could wish for  
She gives me kisses on the lips just for coming home

She can make angels  
I've seen it with my own eyes  
You got to be careful when you you've got good love  
Cause them angels will just keep on multiplying

You're so busy changing the world  
Just one smile can change all of mine  
We share the same soul  
Oh oh oh oh ohhh  
We Share the same soul  
Oh oh oh oh ohhh  
We Share the same soul  
Oh oh oh oh ohhh  
Oh oh oh oh ohhh  
mm mm mm mmmm

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A/n: Hoped you all enjoyed this chapter. I always love daddy Jasper. He always had a heart of gold to me. Also I love Bella and Jasper together, not as a couple but as friends.

I love reviews if any one wants to take the time to leave them.


	3. Falling Slowly

**Song for how Alice is feeling in this chapter is All These Things I hate (Revolve Around Me) By Bullet For My Valentine**

**Another song I like for this chapter is Falling Slowly By Glen Hansard & Markéta Irglová

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I was starting to feel like the little engine that could, but instead of saying 'I think I can, I think I can' It was more like 'I can do this, I can do this'.

Well, that was what was coming out of my mouth but my brain was questioning what I wanted to believe.

I told Esme I was prepared for what was to come, but in truth I wasn't. I just wasn't ready to see Alice. I wasn't ready for the words I knew she was going to say. I knew she was going to question whether I loved her of not.

I talked with her before about what the family and I were going to do today. _Well sort of._

When I talked to Esme this morning before I left Seattle she told me that Alice was going to be beyond angry with us and that I just couldn't take what she says to heart. I was just praying that she would understand that we had no other choice.

I couldn't even make myself get out of the car when I pulled up to the house. I was just glad that everyone was already here. I wasn't sure if Alice even knew I was coming home today or that Lucy was with Bella. I didn't know if Alice would be happy about me leaving her with Bella or not but I knew she would get the hint when I told her I left her in Seattle.

The only person we knew in Seattle was Bella.

I slowly got out of the car trying to put of as long as possible what I knew would probably be the end of me and Alice. _I can do this, I can do this, I can do this._

As soon as I walked in the front door I could here my family in the other room talking in quiet whispers. When I got to the kitchen where they were all gathered around the dining room table I instantly could feel the tension in the air. "Hi"

Esme came right over and embraced my in a warm hug. "She's upstairs." I nodded my head at everyone before heading towards Alice and Is bedroom.

I wasn't sure if I should knock first or just walk in. I opted for the first option considering that was probably the best choice at the time, I didn't want to scare her.

"Come in." I heard her musical voice ring out and I was happy to here she didn't sound like she was in to much of a bad mood.

"Alice." I said peeking in first. She was laying on her back in the middle of the floor with her eyes closed and her hands behind her head. "Ali" I said again.

"Where's my daughter?" She said harshly after realizing I was alone.

I looked down shamelessly and figured I might as well get this over with. "She didn't come."

Alice closed her eyes and turned her head towards the ceiling again. "Where is she?" It didn't come out as harsh as before.

"She stayed in Seattle." I kept my eyes on her to see if it registered who I left Lucy with. She never opened her eyes but I could tell it dawned on her when her face went from anger, to sad, and than hurt. "I'm sorry Alice, but there is some stuff we need to seriously talk about before you see Lucy."

"I can't believe you Jasper. How could you keep my daughter from me and not to mention you left Lucy with her. Why would you even waste your time coming back here?"

"Because Alice, I wanted to see you, I wanted to see if you were okay."

"Are you stupid." She was yelling so loud I'm sure her family could here us. "How could I be okay, My boyfriend up and left me and took my daughter with him. And than he has the nerve to show up, without her I might add, no, he had to go and leave her with my ex best friend so he could drive three in a half fucking hours just to see if 'I'm okay'. So, Jasper, do you want the answer to that. Well here it is for you. Why don't you FUCK OFF."

I just sat there stunned. Not that I didn't expect any of what just happened, mostly because I almost expected her to punch me and she didn't, she just stormed out of the room slamming the door behind her. _So far so good._

"Alice." I yelled trying to catch up to her. "Alice, come on, can we just talk about this, please." As soon as I got down the stairs I automatically stopped in my tracks. _I wasn't expecting them so early._

"What the fuck is this." Alice sneered from besides me. I looked around to the faces of my family and could see all the sympathy they held for me.

"Alice."

I tried to reach out for her but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" She wasn't yelling anymore but I could still feel the venom that was behind her words.

She started to walk towards the front door but was stopped by Emmett. "Not this time."

Alice just stood there, she knew there was no way of getting around Emmett no matter her how small she was.

"Alice, you know police Chief Swan." Esme stated but I wasn't sure if Alice was acknowledging her or not. "And this is Dr. Carson, there here to help us talk to you, and than……."

I guess Alice was listening because she was more than eager to interrupt. "I know what the fuck there here for." She turned to face me. "You promised." I could see the sadness in her eyes. I'm not sure if it was because she knew she had no choice or because she felt betrayed. I didn't want her to think I was turning my back on her.

"I have to take my promise back and I'm sorry for that but I also promised I would help you and this is the only way I know how. It's the only way left."

"I can't do this, I got to get out of her." She started to sprint towards the back door but I was faster, I pulled her arm to stop her. "Can't you just leave me alone. Its not like you care anyways." She spat out.

I ran my hands through my hair, I knew she was going to question whether or not I cared. "Alice, I do care or I wouldn't be doing this, we all care. And I know for a fact there is a very special little girl that more than cares." I was getting a little upset, I wanted to yell all the things that were on my mind. "God Alice, I wish you would talk to me. It kills me to see you do this to yourself. I don't think I have seen you shop in over a month. What happened to my Alice, the one that thought my opinion was everything, the one that use to tell me all her secrets……….I miss her Ali, I want her back, we all want her back."

She turned around to face me with tears in her eyes. "I don't know who she is anymore."

My heart broke with her words. I knew she knew it was time for her to get better. She knew this was the only way.

I pulled her into my arms and just held her while she cried. "I know who she is, I never forgot who she was."

She was crying so hard her knees started to give out and we both slid to the floor. I turned to look at Carlisle without taking my hands of Alice. 'Is she okay' I mouthed. He nodded, I was thankful he wasn't going to have to sedate her. "It's going to be okay, your going to be okay." I whispered into her ear.

I sat there with Alice on the floor with our family all around us until she fell asleep. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to let her fall asleep but I was enjoying what little closeness I had left with her for awhile.

"Why don't you go lay her down upstairs Jasper, we still have a lot to discuss before they take her to Lakeview." I nodded and easily picked her up in my arms.

"Jasper, you did really good with her, and didn't loose your temper…..to much." My sister pulled me into a hug when I got back down stairs.

"I just dont want to loose her Rose, not to this, not to anything."

"You won't"

I talked with Dr. Carson about rehab and what it's going to be like for her. I knew she wasn't going to like it, definitely not at first but I really felt she was going to meet people there that could help her, people that were going through some of the same stuff.

Dr. Carson reassured us that there has been worse cases than Alice and that just by watching she can already see some of the things Alice might need help with. I was amazed that just by watching for an hour she could understand anything. She also wanted to make a time she could talk to me and me alone.

I was a little scared when she said that, I think she could tell because she immediately said it was just for caution and to find out a little about Alice and her family from someone's point of view besides Alice's.

When I was finished I went up stairs to check on her. She was still laying in the same position I left her. Curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed.

I laid down next to her and pulled her into my arms. I stayed there and stared at her thinking about everything we have gone through together. I still couldn't stop thinking this was my fault. Somehow the drinking had to be my fault, maybe she didn't think I loved her enough, maybe she thought I ruined her life by asking her to keep our child. Whatever it was, I was going to find out soon.

As many times as I tried to let go of her, I always seem to be right back here. Remembering why I loved her in the first place. Remembering the hyper, pixie of a girl I fell in love with.

"Hey there." I said to Alice when she opened her eyes.

"Hi." She whispered.

"I hope you know how much I love you, Alice, I will never stop loving you."

She gazed into my eyes and I could see her questioning whether or not I was lying. It hurt to think she didn't believe me. "What's gonna happen to me?" The tears started to fall again.

"Well, you'll go to detox at first, and than you'll see a few doctors, and get on medication to help you and than you'll be fine." I tried to comfort her and let her know things would go back to normal.

"What if I'm not fine, what if I can't get better."

I put my hand under chin and pulled her head up so she could see into my eyes. "You will. Alice, you are the most determined person I know, you can do this."

"I'm scared Jasper, I don't want to loose you or Lucy."

"I know baby, your not going to loose us. Not now, not ever. I love you." I leaned down to give her a chaste kiss on the lips. I wanted more but was afraid to deepen it for fear it would lead to other things.

This is how it always was with us. We were madly in love and no matter how much we hurt each other we went right back to were we started. Nothing could break us apart.

I knew the second she was better our life's were going to change for the better. I was going to make sure of that.

After staring into each others eyes for what felt like minutes but was actually an hour, I decided it was time to stop putting of what had to be done. I squeezed her hand as we walked down the stairs. I wanted her to know how much we cared about her. And that she wasn't walking into the end but the beginning. I wanted her to know she wasn't alone and that I would be with her every step of the way.

When we got down the stairs the whole family was there waiting. I pulled away from Alice so that they could all say there goodbye's and encouragements. It hurt to watch everyone of my family in tears. Even the big Olaf that was Emmett had tears in his eyes.

The thing that got me the most though, was the way Carlisle embraced his daughter. I can't even begin to imagine going through this with my daughter. It was hard enough having to watch Alice go through all the pain she was going through. Granted, I wasn't sure what that was, but I could see in her eyes there was a reason for her drinking.

"Alice, you are and always will be my little princess. Don't forget that. There is nothing you can do to make me stop loving you. I want you to go get better for me okay." Alice nodded at her father and I now couldn't stop the tears that were spilling over my face.

She said goodbye to the rest of her family saving me for very last.

By all means I was not ready to tell that girl goodbye.

"I don't want to say goodbye." The very words I was thinking fell from her mouth.

"I wish I knew the right words to say to you." I held her face in my hands. "I want you to know how thankful I am for you, and that I thank god every day I have you even the days when I feel like I could kill you." I was happy to here a laugh through all that crying. "Alice, I went away because I couldn't handle Forks, because I couldn't handle watching you drink yourself to death, because I couldn't handle the way you would look at me when you were drunk, the look of pure hatred. Ali, I didn't leave because I didn't love you, I want you to know that." I kissed her on the forehead. "Go get better Mary Alice."

I knew this wasn't goodbye forever but it sure as hell felt like it. I didn't want to let her go and I knew she felt the same. God, I was terrified to let her go, I was terrified of what was to come, most of all I was terrified for her. "Call me as soon as you can okay." She nodded, the tears in her eyes still prominent. "I love you."

"I love you to." I smiled, she didn't say it very often but when she did it came from the bottom of her heart. "Wait for me."

"I will wait for you forever."

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**A/N: The big AJ confrontation, well one of them anyways. Hope it met expectations. Thanks to those of you who take the time to review. **


	4. Brand New Day

**A/N: So I wanted to get this chapter out before this weekend was over. I'm not sure if I will update again until next weekend but I am going to try my best. I wanted to thank you again for the reviews, not as many as I had hoped but all that matters is I am enjoying myself writing this story. I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It might be a little sloppy because it is nearly one in the morning were I'm from but it is still good. This chapter will let you in on more of what is to come.**

**Brand New Day By Joshua Radin**

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The drive back from Forks was a lot better than the drive there. I finally felt like things were going to be okay. Better than okay. I didn't leave right after they took Alice, I instead stayed for dinner and to pack a few more of Lucy and Is things up to take with me to Seattle.

Lucky for me it was summer and Lucy wasn't going to be starting school for awhile so I hopefully wasn't going to have to enroll her until Alice was out of rehab.

I was planning on moving to Seattle, I wasn't sure if that's what Alice wanted, but it's what I wanted, and I was going to put me first for once. She would just have to agree or stay in Forks with her parents.

I decided I wanted to go house hunting as soon as possible. I thought it might help Lucy with all the things that have been going on lately to have a place she could call home. And what better than your own home. And sense Lakeveiw was in Seattle I thought it would be better to be near Alice and all her doctors. Carlisle was going to help me with the deposit on the house, I tried to decline his offer at first because he was already helping me with the money for college but he was to damn insistent.

His final words on the subject were 'Son, if you don't take my granddaughter and go look for your family a house, I will. And I know for a fact that what I pick out will be much bigger than what you will want.' I'm pretty sure he was telling the truth to. That is just something he would do. He said that the only reason he has all the money he has is to take care of his family.

So what did I do, I finally excepted the money after him excepting my promise to pay it back. He sure didn't like it though. Esme was really sad I wanted to move away, she was going to miss her grand baby, but she knew it was what was best for us. She knew it was best for Alice to have a clean slate when she got out of rehab. She needed a fresh environment to live in.

It was four in the afternoon by the time they took Alice back to Seattle. I wish I could have done it but the doctors said that it would be better that she goes with the counselor. That's why we planned the whole intervention in the first place, because we weren't sure if she would even get in the car to go with one of us, well not unless it was forced. It was probably best this way. I don't know if I could handle the depressing ride back with her.

Getting back to Bella's apartment was a relief. I was so happy to be back and see my little girl. I'm sure she was in bed by now but I could still go in and give her kiss. I quietly shut and locked the door behind me before making my way down the hall to the quest room where I know my baby would be crawled up on the bed sleeping.

After giving her a kiss I decided to go let Bella know I arrived home alright. Knowing Bella she probably waited up as long as she could for me. I knocked on the outside of her door lightly before entering. "Bella." I called to her but there was no answer. I strolled over to the bed where she was asleep and sat down next to her.

"Bella, I'm home safe." I lightly rubbed her back.

She opened her eyes slightly to look up at me. After seeing me she got what looked like a concerned look on her face. "You okay?"

"I think I'm going to be, why don't you go back to sleep, will talk in the morning."

"I can't sleep now that your home, I was worried about you, and Alice. My dad say's she handle everything a lot better than you all thought."

"Your dad came to see you. I bet Lucy loved that." I smiled.

"I didn't know they were so close. She even calls him Grandpa C. I didn't know he was so cute with little kids either. He came right after he dropped of Alice and got here right in time to read her a bedtime story." She looked a little sad but tried to cover it up with a forced smile.

"You should talk to your dad more Bella." She slightly nodded her head, more for her own acknowledgment than mine. "He comes to dinner at the Cullen's a few times a month, Luc looks forward to him coming."

"Wow, I only talk to him about once a month so she has me beat. I was actually surprised he showed up here tonight."

"Well, I know for a fact he misses you, whenever he comes to dinner he can't stop talking about how well your doing and how proud of you he is. You should see him, Alice….." I stopped talking right than, I wasn't sure if I should say that Alice goes all crazy when he brings her up or that it drives her to drink.

I didn't want to hurt her feelings but it killed Alice when she heard about how great Bella was doing. In a way I think she was jealous that she was doing so well, she thought that meant there friendship didn't mean anything to Bella. She was mad that Bella didn't hurt as much as her because of it.

"I hurt to Jazz, she just doesn't see it, she never saw it."

"I know."

I sat and talked with Bella for another hour before heading to bed. We made plans to go house hunting tomorrow after she got done with her class. We mostly talked about what she had been up to the last few years. She never visited Charlie in Forks so it was nice just being able to lay there and listen to her face to face. I really missed her. Having both been a part of Alice we became a part of each other. So in a way I felt like I also lost a part of me when she moved away.

I felt like it was mine and Alice's fault she didn't come home to visit her dad. When ever he did come over on those nights for dinner I could barely look him in the eyes. I felt ashamed. I hoped that maybe Bella would be able to fix her relationship with Alice and than she would actually go visit her dad. I knew he wanted her to. I could see in his eyes how much he missed her.

I found it quite cute when she shyly asked about Edward. From what she told me about all the recent dates she's been on, she was in need of a good one. All the guys she's dated sounded like a rule tools. There was this guy Mike that sounded the worst. She said he never stopped talking and the only thing he did talk about was himself, and he tried way to hard to be cool.

And than at the end of the date he through himself at her like she was a piece of food. She was going to give him a kiss on the cheek but instead he decided to shove his tongue in her mouth and gag her to death. I felt really bad for her, she was so beautiful she deserved more than these ass whole's she has been going out with.

I let her know that Edward was a god compared to all of the guys she has been out with and that I would be sure to call him tomorrow and see how his moving plans were going. I knew he was suppose to be at Esme and Carlisle fourth of July party coming up in a couple weeks but I was hoping he would be here sooner than that.

Maybe that would be a good way I could get Bella to Forks.

I felt really good waking up the next morning, it felt like a new start to a whole new beginning. I think a lot of it had to do with the exceedingly great smell that was coming from the kitchen. I jumped up, through on a shirt, and sprinted towards the delicious aroma. There sitting on the table was the breakfast of champions. There were eggs, bacon, muffins, and coffee.

"Daddy." I pulled Lucy up in my arms for a big hug. "I helped Miss Bella make breakfast." She beamed.

I looked over at Bella to see her sitting on the counter grinning behind her mug of coffee. I sat Lucy back down on the ground and made my way over to Bella. "Thank you." I said kissing her on the forehead.

"So Luc, Pop Pop thinks we should get a house in Seattle to be close to mommy, what do you think?" I said sitting at the table next to her. I knew she knew we were going to be here for awhile, but I didn't think she knew I wasn't planning on going back to Forks. "You can help pick it out, I know mommy will like what you pick out."

"Are we leaving Nana and Pop Pop, Nana will be sad." she frowned.

"When ever Nana gets sad you can go and have a sleepover with her." She smiled. I knew she would like the sleepover idea. "Besides, when mommy gets better she is going to need a place where she can be close to her doctors."

"Okay daddy, we can move, but I get to pick the color of my room this time."

I laughed "Well than we better paint it before your mother is better or you will have no say in what color your room is." She giggled. She knew how Alice was about things like that. Even at six she knew how the quilt trips worked.

The rest of the morning me and Lucy finished getting ready so we could go house hunting. She was worse than Alice when it came to style. She would never were anything but dresses or skirts and she probably had more shoes than Alice and I put together. She loved accessories, especially bracelets. And she couldn't go anywhere unless her hair had a bow in it.

That would explain why I have been sitting here trying to fix her hair for the past half hour. "NO, not like that dad, you have to do it like this." God, this is when I needed Alice. Here my daughter is trying to explain to me how to do her hair and then there is me looking as oblivious as ever. I wasn't understanding a damn thing she was saying. Twist this, put this there, I think I was going to go nuts if I had any more daughters, especially ones as high maintenance as Lucy.

"And why can't you do this buy your self, you seem to know what your doing."

"I can't see the back of my hair dad." She looked at me like I was a total idiot.

"Can't you just leave it down, I like it down."

"No, I don't want it down, I want it braided."

"What's going on in here?" THANK GOD. I turned to give Bella a pleading look.

"You see, this little girl right here is worse than her mother, she seems to think she needs these twisty, turny, knots in her hair and….."

"Braids?" I nodded my head. "I can do it, why don't you go sit down Jazz you look a little stressed" I through my hands in the air and ran out of the room happy to still be alive.

As soon as they got out of the room I noticed that my daughters hair was not in what she called braids. She left it down. "What know?"

"I decided I didn't like my braids so I found my headband instead." I gave Bella a questioning look. She just smiled and shrugged her shoulders.

"Holly hell." That child was defiantly going to be the death of me. And soon.

We decided that we would make a stop at the local Realtor that Carlisle suggested before we did anything else. There were a few house's they told us about that I knew were a definite no, but there were a few others that sounded like they would be safe to look at.

The first house we looked at was a really old fashioned white siding house, there was nice screened in front porch with a wooden floor. The living room was very spacious with a hardwood floors that led into the kitchen and another sitting area. The rooms were a bit tiny but manageable for the price there was a lot of space that we could add on to if we had to in the future. I liked the house but I wasn't sure if Alice would, so I chose to keep looking.

She was the one that stayed home with Lucy so I wanted her to love it.

The second house the lady showed us was horrible. The floor plan was horrible, the location was horrible, the price was horrible, everything was so horrible Bella insisted we leave and that we didn't even care to look through the whole house.

But the third and finale house was perfect. It was so Alice. There was a cobble stone walk way that led to a rap around porch and a huge cherry wood front door. But the inside is what I knew Alice would love the most. The kitchen was huge with rustic looking appliances and hard wood floors, it over looked an even bigger family room. The whole floor plan was open, which I knew was Alice's main concerns. She always said if we ever bought a house she would want a open floor plan with huge windows.

The huge windows were definitely another plus. There were four bedroom including the master bedroom and each bedroom had there own walk in closet. But the thing that made my decision was the finished basement/Bonus room. I was already planning a theater room before I even signed the papers.

"When were you planning to buy, because I have to say this house will not be on the market long, the owner has to hurry and sell so he only wants a little more than what he owes on it, your actually really lucky to be the first people to see it, I am sure it would have only lasted a day or two." I thought about what she said before answering.

"Why is he in a hurry to sell, if you don't mind me asking?"

"He has to move out of the country on business, he just bought this house as an investment, but know with him having to move so soon he is just trying to get rid of it quickly. He owns his own business, so money really isn't a problem for him."

"How much does he want?" I was thinking a house like this would be close to a half a million.

"Your going to freak when I tell you this but he only wants three hundred thousand." My mouth fell open and Bella had to reach up and close it.

ARE YOU SHITTING ME? Only that much, that was so fucking cheap for a house like this. Especially in this area. I looked over at Bella to see her nodding her head. "Alice will love it."

"Can we have it daddy? Please." Lucy was jumping up and down out of excitement.

"Will take it."

I called Carlisle before leaving the house. I told him about what a great deal I found. 'You know money is not a problem Jasper' was the only thing he said about that. The down payment he was planning was way more than what I expected. Not that I should have expected anything less. He was probably being generous by not paying the whole house off. I know he probably would have, but he knew how much I was trying to be a man and take care of my own family.

I put a lot in savings the past few years, enough to pay for Alice's rehab, something I would not budge on. Carlisle wanted to pay but I put my foot firmly down on that one. I also had enough to last me the rest of the summer until Lucy was in school when I could get a full time job.

Esme, being more of the responsible book keeper was happy about the deal and was already making arrangements to come to Seattle to bring the rest of our stuff. Our stuff including Alice's. She also had to sign a check over and be a co signer on the house. I already knew Esme was going to love the house. She was just like Alice and I knew she was going to want to get her hands on the decorating as soon as possible.

I had to make sure to tell her that she couldn't decorate until I told Alice about the house, and made sure it was okay with her. I had a really good feeling that Alice would be okay with this whole moving thing. At first I was a little scared that she would not want to move with me, but after seeing the house I know she is going to love the idea.

When we got done with the Relater we decided to head back to Bella's so she could fix us an early dinner, late lunch. Lucy insisted on helping her in the kitchen again and I took it as my chance to sneak away and call Edward. We were pretty good friends, being family and all, so I knew my call wouldn't be much of a surprise to him. Him and Alice were really close, I am sure he would like to here how things are going with her. If he hadn't already.

I picked up my phone, pushing send when I got to his name. "Hello?"

"Hey Edward, it's Jasper."

"Hey man, what's up? I heard what happened yesterday, you okay?" He sounded genuinely concerned.

I told him a little about what happened even though I knew he probably heard the whole thing from his mom already. I told him about mine and Alice's talk we had in her room, and how she was so scared she wasn't going to get better. We talked a little about how big Lucy was getting, and how she was taking the whole ordeal. Edward wanted to be a pediatrician so he was interested in how she was handling it.

"So when are you moving, you got your flight booked yet?"

"Actually, I'm leaving in a few days. I'm going to come find an apartment close to campus and than my mom is going to ship my things out. She's not to happy about me moving out there but I know she'll get use to it. She might even end up moving out there, she really won't have much left after I'm gone." I frowned a little at the thought of Elizabeth being left alone in Chicago.

"You know, a really good friend of mine has a three bedroom apartment right next to the campus, she did say something about renting a room if you were willing."

"She?" I heard him gulp on the other side. He always was nervous with the lady's. The last few years when he came to Forks to visit we would always try to hook him up with one of our friends, he would always decline. I think he'd only been out a few times in Chicago but it never went anywhere beyond friendship. I thought it was just him being shy but he said he really wasn't interested in dating unless it was with the right girl, I guess he hadn't found her yet. Maybe that is why he decided to move out here.

Maybe Bella could be his perfect girl, like Alice is to me. "She's really cool. You guys will be going to the same college. She's majoring in English Lit. You guys actually have a lot in common, so you would get along great."

"I wouldn't mind sharing an apartment, it would save on money but................I don't know the girl, I would have to meet her first."

"Why don't you grow some balls and call her than, she's actually expecting you to." Not for the same reason as you think, but she was expecting your call. I would just have to talk to Bella about it. I know she wouldn't mind the company.

I rattled of the number to him and made sure he promised to call before hanging up and heading to the kitchen to see what I could do to help with dinner.

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A/N: I could have kept going with this chapter but I had to stop out off loss of focus. Like I said it's late and I am incredibly tired. But, I do want to know what you all think of this chapter. Also, I said this would be mostly Jasper's POV (which it will) but, I was wondering if you all would like a little of B/E? I kind of have some stuff I wanted to write with them. As you can see I made Edward a bit of the shy one instead of Bella. I like that when I see that in story's, you always see the shy Bella. But it's up to you all, I could just write there relationship from an outsiders perspective, like Jasper's.

Thanks for reading. Next up we will find out what's going on in the life of Alice. Already written, just needs a few adjustments.


	5. Finally

**A/N: I am so extremely sorry for making you guys wait for me to update. I have the worst writers block in the world. The worst part about it is I know exactly what I want to write and where I want all three of my story's to go. They play out perfectly in my head I just can't seem to put it on paper. I have partials of this story written, paragraphs, conversations, you name it, I just can't seem to bring it all together.**

**I want to say that real life has got in the way of my writing but that is not the case. I really, truly have been trying to write. I have gone back and forth between all three story's I am writing and just can't seem to find the faith to actually write. I use faith because I want to write my story's and finish them, its just everything I seem to write doesn't feel like it's good enough to post.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter that I have posted and I am hoping for reviews if there are any of you out there that are still reading my story.**

**I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those writers who never updates but that just didn't seem to happen. I no now that I will never be hard on any writers out there that take forever to update.**

**Another thing, I said this would be Alice POV this chapter and I do have that one finished I just felt the need to through this in there before I gave you her POV, I guess she felt like she needed more time. As soon as my Internet stops freaking out on me I will post her POV.**

**Hope you all enjoy.**

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**JPOV**

"Daddy I can't find my other shoe."

"Jasper, can you help her I'm still trying to get ready."

"DADDY."

"Jasper, where are you?"

I don't know how long I was going to be able to avoid them. I didn't want to hide from them, it's just I was so stressed out my head was going to explode. It's been a few days sense I had seen or talked to Alice, I missed and worried about her terribly, and to add to that I had to cater to my daughters every need twenty four seven. Not that I minded taking care of her, I just didn't realize how much Alice actually does to take care of the both of us. _No wonder she started drinking._

"There you are." Bella said when she saw me sitting in the closet. "Are you hiding from her?" I shook my head. "Well you better get out there before you have a bigger problem on your hands." She held her hand out to me to help me stand up. She had more strength than I thought and I bumped right into her. I instantly felt a rush of lust I shouldn't have been feeling and backed away quickly.

"Umm……I'm um…I got to go, I have class." Bella pretty much ran out of the room. _Try not to remember the past Jasper, focus on the present_. Present being to help my daughter find her shoe. I walked out to the family room just in time to here the door slam and the pitter patter of little feet.

I looked down to see my daughter giving me a firm look. I glanced at her foot to see what shoe she was wearing so I could start looking for its mate. When I heard a knock on the front door I jumped up to answer it knowing the person on the other side would be someone that would make the day a whole lot brighter. Someone who could releive some of stress I had been feeling.

"NANA." Lucy ran over and jumped into Esme's arms. I was happy that I was able to keep this a surprise from her at least. "Oh Lucy, you don't know how much I have missed you." My mother said kissing all over her tiny face.

"What about me do I get some love." Lucy turned in my mothers arms and held her hands out for her grandpa to pick her up and take his turn.

I told Esme about the shoe that had gone missing. She smiled and told Lucy that that just meant a day of shopping. _Great just what that girl needed, more clothes_. They were also going to pick out some things for Lucy's new bedroom.

Why they were doing that I was going to go over with Carlisle to the house and make the finale arrangements before going to pick up Edward at the airport. I was excited to be seeing him again. He always had been someone I could talk to about things.

As soon as everything was settled with the house and I was given the keys I felt like a huge weight had been lifted of my shoulders. That was part of the stress I had been having but only about a third of it. I was hoping it was enough to relieve me for awhile.

I think most of what I was feeling was just anxiety from being away from Alice knowing what she had to be going through right now. Knowing that she has probably been in a lot of pain the past few days was killing me. I wanted to be able to be there with her to help her get through it. I think the only thing that would help me right now would be to hear her voice and know that she is okay.

**EPOV**

I felt extremely guilty for leaving my mother behind this morning. I really never intended on leaving her alone but I was starting to feel smothered in Chicago. I know, I know, it's a big city, I just have lived there all my life and I really needed to leave the confides of my home town, experience life for my self. I wanted to grow out of my shell and actually start talking to more people.

Now that Jasper lived in Seattle it was going to be the perfect opportunity to get to know other people. He knew a lot of people and so it was going to be easy for me to get to know others with out having to introduce my self. I know that sounds ridicules but I had really bad anxiety when it came to taking to people.

I had a feeling my mother wouldn't be able to last long with out me. She missed her family terribly. My uncle and my mothers brother lives in Forks, I think he has been trying to get her to move out here ever sense the accident. My mother always refused thinking I wanted to stay in Chicago. I really didn't though.

I only had a few close friends who after graduation moved away to go to college. I think the real reason she didn't want to leave was because she would feel bad leaving my father behind. His memory anyways. I always told her that no matter where she was he would be with her but she just said it would be to hard to leave behind all the memories of Chicago.

I think she was going to get to lonely without me to keep her company, one thing I didn't want. I promised I would fly home every break I had and she promised she would come out as much as possible to visit me. I missed her already. She was my rock and the only person that new the real me and accepted me for it.

As soon as my plane landed I walked to baggage claim where Carlisle and Jasper where waiting for me. I was excited to see my family. My uncle had been like a father to me after my father past and it was extremely hard being away from him and my aunt Esme "Hey son it's so good to see you." Carlisle pulled me into a manly hug.

"You to, something about being here makes me feel at home." I smiled

"Well I would hope so considering this is your new place of residence." Jasper said taking his turn hugging me. Jasper was always a good friend even though we lived so far away from each other. I always had updates from him no matter what. Alice was my best friend when we were little and are parents always tried to let us spend as much time in the summer together as possible. I really did want her to get better.

We talked on are way out of the airport. Jasper filled me in on what was going on with Alice and he was hopefully going to be getting a call here shortly. Lucy was doing surprisingly well considering everything that was happening with Alice. It had to be hard not to be able to see your mother knowing she is sick. I couldn't wait to see Lucy and how big she had gotten.

Jasper didn't bring up his friend that I was suppose to call the other day, that I was eternally grateful for. I never called her. I picked up the phone and dialed a few times but I lost courage when I realized I didn't even know her name. Before Jasper could take us back to the place he was staying I asked if they could drop me off at the college, I really wanted to check out the campus and get my books before I did anything else.

"That's fine with me, I wanted to register for next semester anyways. We should stop and get something for dinner before heading home also, I bet the girls will be starved from there day of shopping."

When we got to the school Carlisle and Jasper took off towards the counselors center while I decided to walk around the campus grounds. The campus here was much smaller than the one in Chicago and I was happy about that. I was looking for a smaller school with more classroom time. There where a few other students walking around and a lot of them where with there parents, probably registering.

I was focused on one of the groups that was being led around campus when I tripped over someones bag on the ground. "Oh my gosh. Are you okay?" I looked up to see a girl shoving things back into her bag, spilt out do to my clumsiness. But what I noticed the most was how beautiful she was. She had a heart shaped face with big beautiful brown eyes and the most luscious lips I had ever seen. Her hair was a dark shade of brown that went down to the middle of her back in loose curls. She was gorgeous and I instantly hated how terribly shy I was.

"I'm sorry for tripping you, I probably shouldn't have all my stuff sprawled out all over the ground." She looked a little nervous which made me relax a bit, at least I wasn't the only one.

"No, it's my fault I probably should watch were I'm going."

Things felt a little awkward and neither of us new what to say. I wanted to talk to this girl more than anything I just couldn't seem to get the ball up and rolling. I hated me so bad at times like these. Not that there has been many if any girls that I have wanted to talk to. I just didn't really care to date when I was in Chicago. But standing here now, in front of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen made me wish I had gotten a little more experience.

"I'm Bella by the way." _Introduce your self, why didn't I think of that._

"Edward. You look sort of familiar do I know you from somewhere?" The more I looked at her she looked like someone I had seen somewhere, not that I could have.

"I don't think so, have you gone to school here for awhile?" I shook my head. "I just moved here, I'll be starting next semester with a friend of mine."

She smiled a breathtaking smile. "Maybe will see each other around some time. I spend most of my time here so I'm kind of hard to miss." I mumbled something about her being a beautiful women under my breath but from her slight blush I think she heard me. "I probably should go before I'm late to my next class." I nodded.

"Oh and Edward." She said over her shoulder. "Maybe next time you should try asking me out." And than she was off. I mentally did a little happy dance before going to find Jasper.

I couldn't knock the smile that was permanently indebted on my face. Jasper immediately could tell that something was up when we got back to the car. I tried to brush it off as just being excited about school but I think he could tell there was something else. Maybe I wouldn't be needing him to help me find dates after all. I was pretty sure that I could do it on my own and I promised myself the next time I saw Bella I would take her advise and I would ask her out.

When we got to Jasper's friends apartment I was amazed. It was really big just for one person. Especially someone in college, I wondered if she had a lot of money and why she would have three bedrooms if she was the only one here.

Esme and Lucy got home not to long after us and I was so happy to see them both. Esme instantly started crying and pulled me into a hug. Lucy just wanted to know what I brought her. She was funny that way. No matter how young she was, she could remember me and the fact that I brought her a present every time I came. This time it happened to be a new back pack for school that was filled to the brim with art supplies, pencils, and paper. She was thankful and began drawing a picture immediately.

We all sat at the kitchen table eating the pizza we brought home and just talking about things that had been going on in our lives. Mostly mine. My uncle was worried about my mother and was going to try harder to get her to move out here.

Are talking came to a grounding halt as soon as someone came happily skipping through the door. I couldn't catch who it was so I just figured it was Jasper's friend who he really hadn't said a word about sense I arrived.

I don't think she noticed who was all here because she instantly started talking as soon as she got in the door. As soon as I heard her voice it felt like my heart stopped. "Jasper, you wouldn't believe the most gorgeous guy I met today. I might not need your help setting me up with...............Edward?" Her face was ten shades of red when she noticed me, and everyone else for that matter that over heard her little spill.

"Hi Bella." I shyly waved. She looked dumb struck for awhile, not sure of what to do or say. She almost looked like she was fighting a battle of whether she should run away or not.

"He's the Edward you have been talking to me about the one....." She looked at Jasper and he nodded. "Hmmmm."

We all just sat there not sure of what to say. I'm sure she felt awkward for saying those things, especially if they where about me, which I'm sure they were. I was just happy that the Bella I met today was standing right in front of me. Esme and Carlisle looked confused and probably didn't want to say anything for fear of embarrassing Bella. Jasper just sat in the corner with quiet chuckles as if knowing something we didn't.

Luckily someones cell phone broke the silence. Esme answered her phone as fast as her little hands could press the button.

"Alice, is that you honey?" We all sat there in anticipation waiting to see if it was indeed Alice.

"Oh sweetheart, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice. I have missed you so much. Are they treating you well? Do you need anything? When can we visit?" Now we all know where Alice got her excitement from.

"Were actually in Seattle with her right now, let me get her." Esme stood up to give the phone to Lucy and I notice Bella look a little sad at this. I wasn't sure why though she had to know that Alice would want to talk to her daughter more than anything.

"MOMMY........I know mommy, I miss you to. Do I get to come see you soon?............Yeah, Ms. Bella is helping daddy take care of me. Daddy doesn't know how to do my hair like you do so she helps." I had to laugh at that. I could just imagine Jasper trying to do Lucy's hair. "Mommy, how come we never visited Ms. Bella before?" Every one in the room gasped while I just looked confused. I thought they were all really good friends. "I love you to mommy. Here's daddy."

"Alice." Everyone in the room seemed to be in quit sobs including Lucy.

"Oh Alice, I have been waiting to here your voice. I miss you so much..........Are you okay Alice? I have been so worried about you. I was worried that I made a huge mistake sending you there. Alice your a strong person and you probably could have done it on your own like you said but I was just......." There was along pause.

"Alice I am so sorry. You have to believe how sorry I am. I love you so much and I would never do anything intentional to hurt you. I don't think I could survive without you. You are my life Alice. I need you Ali and I want you to get better so we can move on with are lifes I want all the things we have talked about in the past. I want the house, and more kids, a great job, and I want to marry you Alice Cullen. You don't know how bad I want to marry you."

"Alice, are you okay?" Jasper seemed to be bit scared of what ever Alice was saying. He seemed to be fighting a internal battle with him self. I couldn't imagine going through some of the stuff he is going through. It had to be hard to know that your love was in pain. I looked over at Bella to see her looking right back at me. I wondered if she was thinking the same thing I was. "Everyone here is routing for you Ali. We all love you so much."

"I love you to Alice, don't ever forget that."

Something Alice said must have cot him of guard because he turned to Bella with full regret in his eyes. Not knowing what for I turned to Bella to see her looking at the floor as if she was ashamed of herself. I could tell that there was something that wasn't being said and it made me really start to wonder.

"I will.......Alice, you don't need to worry okay. I promise everything is going to be okay......you can trust me on that." He said staring right into Bella's eyes.

There was along paws and it looked as if Jasper was struggling hanging up the phone. His fist was clenched around the phone that was still to his ear and he was lightly banging his head against the wall. Jasper finally shut his eyes and it looked like he was holding back tears. He than hung up the phone with out even saying goodbye and took of towards the bedroom and slammed the door.


	6. It's Been Along Day

**It's Been Along Day By Rosi Golan

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"Have a seat Alice." I slowly walked into the room opting to sit on the brown leather couch across from Dr. Carson's chair. Just sitting in the room you could tell it was a psychiatrists office. It was very warm and inviting with the beige walls and tan colored carpet. The only thing that was the slightest bit intimidating was the big black chair that sat right across from the couch.

The one I'm sure was the interrogation chair.

It was exactly the way you would imagine it to be. The wall behind the couch had a few black and white photos of different people and places, the wall in front of it that one had what looked liked a million of awards, certificates and diplomas of Dr. Carson's.

"How is your day going, I hope you have felt a lot better today?" I gave her a weak smile. My day had been going exceptionally well considering I was finally out of detox. "Its alright."

"Good, well I have read over your file, and I see that you are here for alcohol abuse and light drug use." I shook my head. "Alright well, is there anything that you would like to talk about first?" I once again shook my head. "Well, will just start with a few questions and see where that leads us, okay."

Of course she had to go and sit in the big black leather interrogator.

To say I was a little nervous was an understatement. I was terrified, my hands wouldn't stop shaking, I couldn't stop crossing and uncrossing my legs and I'm sure my face was as white as a ghost. I was at least happy about having a female counselor. I think it would have been worse if it were a man.

"It's alright to be nervous Alice, I promise I won't bite. I'm sure you will actually find me quite helpful after awhile." I found that after a few questions I did start to feel myself relax, but not enough to totally be myself. Not that I knew who that was. That's why I was here. I needed to get the real Alice back again.

I found myself wanting to tell Dr. Carson everything about me. From the first day I met Jasper, to the day I started distancing myself from him, to the day they sent me to this god forsaken place. Dr. Carson was a very admirable person. She hasn't once made me feel not wanted, or guilty for my life. She was very excepting and considerate, I felt like I was talking to a girlfriend more than a counselor.

"How do you feel when your not under the influence? What brings on your need to drink?" She asked

"Sometimes I feel like I am having a million thoughts all at once and yet I am so disorganized, nothing ever seems to get done. Sometimes I feel my body is moving at an incredibly fast pace and other times it's extremely slow. I am frightened all the time and anxious because I always feel someone is trying to harm me. I spend most of my time alone in my room when I've been drinking. I don't want to be bothered with friends or family or even my own daughter."

"I always feel like the television is having special messages meant only for me when I don't have a drink in me, and sometimes I hear voices commenting on what I am doing. Ever sense I had Lucy things just stopped making sense. Drinking was the only way out. The only way things would actually feel normal. I knew I had to stop but every time I would try my mind would go crazy and things would stop making sense again. "

"Do you resent your daughter Alice. Do you blame her for your drinking?" Dr Carson asked.

What kind of question is that? Of course I wasn't angry with my daughter, it wasn't her fault I was so messed up. It wasn't anyone's fault but my own. The only reason I started drinking was because I was so stressed with how I had been feeling, how things had changed so drastically. I didn't want people to know how hurt I actually was. I didn't want anyone to have to deal with my problems so I turned to alcohol. misunderstood my silence and asked me another question. "Alice, were you prepared to be a mother?" I shook my head. What sixteen year old is capable for that much responsibility.

She must have misunderstood my silence because she wrote something on the little sheet of paper in front of her and moved on. "How is your relationship with you husband?"

"Jasper's not my husband." It came out a little harsh, not because I didn't want him to be, because I wasn't sure why he wasn't.

"You sound a little bitter about that, why do you think that is." I just shrugged my shoulder's. Isn't she the one that was suppose to be telling me that. "Do you love him."

"More than anything." I smiled remembering how much I really did love Jasper. Nothing he or I did would ever change the way we felt about each other. _Nothing_

"Do you think he loves you?" I shrugged once more. I was sure he loved me. Jasper told me he loved me all the time. But people always say things they don't mean. I felt like it had been along time sense he had actually showed me he loved me. That or I was to intoxicated to pay attention. I didn't know how he could love me when he has also hurt me so badly.

"I've talked to Jasper and from what I can see he loves you very much."

"I don't deserve it."

"Why not?"

"Because I have been nothing but a problem for him, because I have hurt him in so many ways I can't even explain, because I have abandoned his every need, because I have been to incapacitated to help him raise our daughter. Because I can't forgive him for certain things he has done"

"You may think those things Alice, but I don't think that has stopped him from loving you. It's obvious you haven't stopped loving him for the things you are hurting for "

"How would you know? My best friend left me because of those things. She was like a sister to me. I couldn't forgive and she was frustrated with me so she left" I cringed at the mention of Bella, just bringing her up would be another thing to add to the Alice is crazy list. I'm sure it was another thing that would be discussed in one of my sessions.

Thankfully Dr. Carson sensed my bitter feelings towards the subject and left it alone for now. _Not that it wouldn't be brought up again._ I really was not in a mood to talk about Bella. If anything it would just make me want a drink more than I already did.

I was a bit sad but more relieved when my session ended. Relieved because I was so emotionally exhausted and sad because I really didn't know what I was suppose to do after this. They gave you plenty of free time but I knew if I didn't have anything to keep my hands occupied I would start to fall again.

I decided to just hang out in my room, I really didn't know anyone yet, I hadn't even met my roommate.

I knew I probably should call my family to let them know I was out of detox. They were probably worried sick. I just couldn't bring myself to call them. Not yet.

I knew exactly what was happening that afternoon when I walked down the stairs and saw Dr. Carson and the Chief of police standing in the foyer.

At first I was so angry that they would do this to me. I told them I could get better on my own but they went behind my back anyways. I felt like they betrayed me. I wanted to scream that they all hated me and were out to get me. I wanted to scream that they didn't love me and were just sending me away because they didn't want to deal with me any more, but I couldn't, because I knew better.

I knew that they loved me. I knew that they where doing what they thought was best for me. _And they were right._

I was just scared, scared that I couldn't get better, scared that they would all leave me if I didn't, scared that I was loosing the love of my life, scared I was going to loose my daughter, but mostly I was scared of the way I feel when I'm sober. I just felt alone, not wanted and most of all I didn't trust anyone. I couldn't explain it but I just felt........off.

"Are you Alice?" I looked up from my bed to see a really tall women with long brown hair standing just inside the door. "I'm Rachel, your roommate."

I smiled at her and stood up to shake her hand. "It's nice to meet you." She seemed like someone I would get along with great.

"I don't want to be rude or anything but how old are you?" I knew that would come sooner or later, people always thought I was twelve. I knew it was because of my height, I wasn't even five feet tall. I'm sure if I didn't wear any make up people would think I was even younger.

"Your fine, I know I look like I'm twelve huh." She laughed and shook her head. "I'm 22." She looked stunned. "What about you?"

"26, well almost." I nodded, she actually looked a lot older than she said she was, my guess would have been 28. It made me wonder what she was in here for. We sat there in a comfortable silence until Rachel got up to pull something out of her bag and walk over to the window. "Do you want a smoke?"

"Thanks but I don't smoke." I didn't know why I felt embarrassed. I smoked pot.

"You should, it's the only thing that calms you in a place like this." I shrugged. "Here." She held her cigarette out to me. I was a little apprehensive at first but than I thought why not, hell it was probably the only relief I was going to get in this place.

I walked over to the window and yanked it out of her hands. "Thanks." I have to say it was very calming. And after the hellish time I spent in detox I was in need of something to calm my nerves. "So what are you in here for, if you don't mind me asking."

"I'm a heroin attack, this is my second time in this place." That wasn't what I wanted to here. I really was hoping I would find the cure to my craziness and than get sent home, not ever having to come back. "I just can't help shooting up, it feels good. It feels like nothing else." I could agree with her there. It felt good not to feel bad. "What about you?"

I began to tell Rachel everything about my life. From the time I got pregnant to the day I started drinking. I told her about Jasper and my little Lucy. I even showed her the picture my mother packed in my bag for me. "She's adorable Alice." I shook my head and rubbed my hand over the picture. I missed her so much and I knew right than and there I had to call her.

They didn't let us have a cell phone in this death trap so I had to use the phone that they had downstairs at the front desk. I wasn't happy about not being able to talk to my family in the privacy of my own room. The lady at the front desk was nice enough to tone me out, she even got up to leave a few times which I was grateful for.

"Alice, is that you honey."

"Yeah mom it's me."

"Oh sweetheart, you don't know how good it is to hear your voice. I have missed you so much. Are they treating you well? Do you need anything? When can we visit?" I rolled my eyes at my mother. I know understood why I myself had no patience. I didn't even inherit any from my father, who was the most patient person I knew.

"Mom, slow down, I'm fine. I miss you guys to, more than you know. There not so bad here, my counsel's really nice and my roommate's pretty cool to. I think you guys are going to be aloud to visit in a week or so, I'm not sure exactly, there is suppose to be some family therapy session or something.......You packed me everything I need so don't worry." I took a huge breath. "Is Lucy home, I am really missing her right now and I sure could hear her voice right about now."

"Were actually in Seattle with her right now, let me get her." What were they still doing in Seattle? My anger started to get the best of me. I really didn't need to start thinking about Bella at a time like this. She was probably trying to take over my place in life. She was probably trying to sooth Jasper through all this. I felt like I wanted to scream but at the same time, I felt like I wouldn't have chose any one different to take my place. I really did love her. I just couldn't get over these hurt feelings.

"MOMMY" I started to cry as soon as I heard my baby's voice. I wanted nothing but to take her in my arms and squeeze her right now.

"Hey baby, mommy misses you so much."

"I know mommy, I miss you to. Do I get to come see you soon?"

"Not for awhile baby. How have you been? Have you been good for daddy?"

"Yeah, Ms. Bella is helping daddy take care of me. Daddy doesn't know how to do my hair like you do so she helps." I smiled. I could just imagine Jasper trying to do my daughters hair. She is very high maintenance and I'm sure it's driving him nuts. "Mommy, how come we never visited Ms. Bella before?"

"I'm not sure honey but I promise you when I get better everything is going to be different okay. I love you so much but I don't have a lot of time left and I really need to talk to your daddy. I love you, I love you , I love you. I'll talk to you soon okay."

"I love you to mommy. Here's daddy." I could her my daughter hand the phone to Jasper and I just about broke down in sobs. _Why had I been so stupid with my life._

"Alice." I heard my love.

"Hi."

"Oh Alice, I have been waiting to here your voice. I miss you so much." I was trying to hold my tears back. "I miss you to Jasper."

"Are you okay Alice? I have been so worried about you. I was worried that I made a huge mistake sending you there. Alice your a strong person and you probably could have done it on your own like you said but I was just......." I cut him off.

"You did the right thing Jasper. I know now that I couldn't have done this on my own. I found out that drinking isn't the only thing I need help with. If I don't fix what caused it I will never be the same again."

"Alice I am so sorry. You have to believe how sorry I am. I love you so much and I would never do anything intentional to hurt you. I don't think I could survive without you. You are my life Alice. I need you Ali and I want you to get better so we can move on with are life's. I want all the things we have talked about in the past. I want the house, and more kids, a great job, and I want to marry you Alice Cullen. You don't know how bad I want to marry you."

I couldn't help the tears now. Deep down I knew how much he loved me, I don't know why I ever questioned it. We had so many accidents in are life that it was nice to here he had a plan for once. And he wanted to keep it. I loved him so much. "Alice, are you okay?" He got scared when I didn't say anything back. I tried to answer him but I just couldn't get anything out but a few choked sobs. "Everyone here is routing for you Ali. We all love you so much."

"I know. I got to go but I'll try and call you in a few days............I love you."

"I love you to Alice, don't ever forget that."

"Jasper, will you tell Bella I miss her. She was my best friend and it's been so hard without her."

"I will.......Alice, you don't need to worry okay. I promise everything is going to be okay......you can trust me on that." I shut my eyes trying to hold back more tears that were on there way out. I knew there was things that needed to be said on my part but I don't think I could do it without help. I need someone there for support and I didn't want things to be said over the phone that should be said in person.

"I got to go." I hung up the phone before I didn't have the strength anymore. I could have listened to his voice all day but you were only aloud so much time and mine was already over a few minutes ago.

I couldn't wait to see my family next weekend. Mostly my daughter.

Being out of detox made me feel like I had at least lived through the hard part and I was hopefully on my way to being normal. Being me again.

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A/N: So there you are APOV. Hope you all liked and I will really try to get the next chapter out faster. I think It will be APOV again. I thing she just might have a little more she wants to share with everyone.


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